


A Beginners Guide to House Hunting

by wildtrak



Series: NTA Prompt Fills [3]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Fluff, House Hunting, M/M, South Downs Cottage (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:53:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24015502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildtrak/pseuds/wildtrak
Summary: Crowley and Aziraphale go house hunting, and discover that finding the perfect home is about more than just the purchase price.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: NTA Prompt Fills [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1835815
Comments: 15
Kudos: 43
Collections: Name That Author Round Two





	A Beginners Guide to House Hunting

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the name-that-author challenge in the GO Events discord. The prompt was the line "I hated that wallpaper, anyway." Thanks to curtaincall for running such a fun challenge.

There is a bit of interest, Aziraphale realises as he and Crowley have to politely dodge a young couple and several people in suits and ties as they attempt to get back through the kitchen to the front door. Despite being a bit on the small side—only two bedrooms and one and a half baths—the open house is well attended. The curious humans meander about, poking their noses into the cabinets and commenting on the decor with varying degrees of derision. 

Aziraphale is inclined to agree about the dated nature of the fixtures and the lack of flow between the awkward galley kitchen and the dining area, but for beings of their capabilities an open floor plan and increased square meterage will require little effort to fix. The location is lovely, and there is a homey quality that Aziraphale likes right away. 

“I still don’t know why you wouldn’t let me just miracle it,” Crowley mutters as Aziraphale tugs him by the arm outside to get a good spot.

“Come now Crowley, it’s all part of the experience. Buying our first home together is something we’ll only get to do once. Doing it the human way only seems appropriate.”

Crowley is just trying to give him what he wants, Aziraphale knows—a home where the two of them can comfortably retire away from the hustle and bustle of London. The real estate section of the newspaper is clutched in his hand: one circle in red biro and one in sparkly metallic purple are scribbled around the listing for this quaint little cottage. 

A bespectacled man unfolds a creaky old folding lectern beside the bed of petunias, and unearths a battered old gavel from his bag. The crowd obediently gathers in front of him, and the undercurrent of excitement makes Aziraphale want to wiggle on the spot. Crowley looks a bit out of place in the crowd, but his nervous watch-checking tells Aziraphale all he needs to know. Crowley is just as excited as he is. 

A young woman beside them smiles as Aziraphale sidles closer to the front of the crowd. 

“First time?” she whispers to him.

Aziraphale feels his face flush a bit. “What gave us away?”

“We’ve been to every auction in the area for two years now, and I know all the usual suspects. But mostly, it’s because you’re standing in the middle at the front. Total rookie move.” Her laugh is kind, and she offers him a sherbet lemon.

“Ah, we’re complete novices I’m afraid.”

“Good luck then. Most of the people here are rich investors who own dozens of houses, they’ll eat you alive at the first sign of weakness.”

She points to a young man in a football jersey on the other side of the crowd. “My husband is an eternal optimist. We’ve been hoping to buy a place near the village where he grew up. We would love to have space for the kids, maybe a dog you know? Competing with the investment crowd is impossible, but we make the first bid we can afford just in case, and watch it go off,” she sighs. “Short of some kind of miracle, we’ll have to reconsider a flat in town I think.”

The auctioneer clears his throat, and opens up the bidding. The young woman dutifully holds up her card at the opening price. Aziraphale turns to Crowley, eyes beseeching, but the demon is already clicking his fingers in the direction of the rest of the crowd. Several phones ring at once, and in no time at all the crowd disperses leaving only the four of them. 

“You know, dear, I think this place isn’t quite what we’re looking for,” Aziraphale says, taking Crowley by the arm and bowing out of the auction.

The auctioneer casts around with a puzzled expression, but his befuddlement clears as Aziraphale gives him a little nudge of holy grace to get things moving.

At the clack of the gavel, the young woman shrieks in delight, dancing on the spot as her husband does a victory lap around the petunias with his shirt over his head. 

"I hated that wallpaper, anyway,” Crowley agrees.

“Let’s keep looking, I’m sure the perfect place is just waiting for us to discover it.”


End file.
